For those that didn't
follow Lakota's history on here,,,all I can tell you is that
he was my clown! He loved to make me laugh! I'm sure he's not
happy with all the tears I'm shedding,,but,,,I feel my heart
is in pieces now. Slowly, the pieces will heal together and the
shiny pieces,,,those are the pieces of my heart that Lakota put
The story I'd like to
tell is how Lakota loved to chew his stuffed toys apart. It was
like he thought he was doing the stuffed animal a service, by
dissecting them and taking out the talking or squeaking parts.
I was horrified,,,he was proud!!!!
Until one Christmas,,,Santa
gave him a talking Big Bird! Touch different parts of Big Birds
body and it would say different things. Lakota no longer had
the urge to tear stuffed animals apart, but father the bird as
his own. He carried it wherever he went. When he slept,,,Big
Bird was his pillow. He also loved running into the room I was
in with Big Bird in his mouth, because it made me laugh. I can't
say I always laughed at the annoying,,,"hahahaha's,,,Peek-A-
Boo, This Little Piggy Went To Market,,etc", but,,,because
Lakota loved it so much, I soon found myself waiting for those
Big Bird remarks.
I was worried his first
Big Bird would get destroyed, so I bought him a back up. I had
that back up bird for 2 years, before I finally gave it to him
for another Christmas present. He was thrilled!!!! Now he was
carting two birds around! One at a time, but he got them both
where he wanted them. No toy since, has interested him much,
unless he was stealing one from Shadow. But,,that was an alpha
game with him and he was never really interested in the toy.
Just that he could take it. He was a brat! In a great way!!!
A bit over a year before
his death, he got to see his first waterfall. I needed him to
see one before he left this world. He seemed more overwhelmed
then anything, but there were a lot of people at the falls that
day. His walk was slow, where he was usually up front and leading
the pack,,,but,,even with being overwhelmed,,he enjoyed that
That was his last long
walk. I thought it was age and didn't see the symptoms of CHF
until the end. He was too furry for me to see the stomach bloating.
I wondered if his lack of energy was him being lazy. He was never
a very hyper Samoyed! But,,,I still got him his ice cubes when
he barked for them. He knew I'd wait on him and I wondered if
that was good for him. Maybe he should be working his back legs!
But, in all I recently read,,,,me letting him relax all that
time,,probably bought me more time with him! So with each WOOF
and me getting those ice cubes for him,,,was not only a gift
of love from me, but him giving me more time.
I had no idea he was sick! As I write this,,I go from numb to
tears. I still can't believe my baby is gone! Even though he
died in my arms on HIS rug,,,I expect the WOOF's for ice cubes,
or him running around the corner with one of his Big Birds, or
just coming to me for rubs.
As hard as this is for
me. I have NO regrets! I still get comforted from him in all
the years he shared with me. I'd do it all over again!
But now,,,I'm trying
to face the reality of it all and I'm not really there yet. But,
I couldn't wait much longer to write about him. To let everyone
know what a happy spirit he was,,and a huge clown! He was such
a happy guy! Each and every day he'd make me laugh and fill this
house with conversation. And now,,it's soooo quiet. Too quiet!
I wait for Big Bird to laugh or Lakota demanding (politely) ice
cubes or just him sassing me!
Lakota,,,I wait for your
demands for ice cubes in every sound I hear! I wait to hear Big
Bird talking as you come to me with your tail wagging. I wait
for the day we're together again! Because you my Baby,,,you are
one of few of the real loves I've had in my life. You are my
baby!!!! I miss you!!!!
Lakota's last Christmas
Lakota with Polaris
Lakota with one of his Big Birds
My heart has
a great big hole in it since you went home. *:( ......
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With love always,,,