I adopted Autumn along
with her two other housemates that were also Siberian cats. Their
owner died and I didn't want to separate them. So, instead of
going home with 1 cat, I went home with 3 and I never had regrets
about it.
Autumn was the only female
and also the only one with front claws, which I didn't think
about when I tried to take one of them to meet Aspen for the
first time. Let's say, she did a good bloody job on my arms.
I gave her a 10 for that kind of "fighting like a girl".
I gave her the name of my favorite season,,,,,,,,,,Autumn. But,
I kept calling her my Autumn Belle.
Autumn and the other
2 Siberians (Willow & Saco) LOVED Logan when I brought him
home. They had a short time with Aspen before he died, but he
was afraid of them even though they loved him! Funny cats to
love dogs so much!
Autumn use to love jumping
on the couch beside me to be brushed, until I got Logan who chased
her off. They loved each other, but he still saw it as his spot.
It made the connection harder with me and Autumn, but we managed
to get in the grooming and purring on the kitchen floor on occasion.
I loved it! She had such a loud purr!
Then one day out of the
blue, she lost the use of her back legs. I wasn't sure what I
was seeing until she came downstairs and it was clearly noticed.
She hid under the bed and I took care of her there for a couple
of days until I needed her closer to be able to take care of
her. She screamed in pain, which I quickly managed to get rid
of thanks to Gabapentin. I kept her out of pain with that medicine
and let her die at home, next to me. That happened 9 days later.
9 days for some purrs and cuddling where I didn't get too many
before. Adopting 3 adult cats that are family doesn't make them
warm up real easy, so I got what I could in those last 9 days.
After a few hours sleep
I put my hand down next to the couch to check on her and she
was gone. At that point, I was grateful, but went into another
deminsion of grief. One of many it seems. I put her in a box
I made up with white sheets and kept the box open for a couple
of days with pink carnations on her body. The first time I had
an open casket for a pet, but I couldn't close the box. I needed
to keep petting her. Until,,,,,,,nature took it's course on day
2 which I won't get into, but I knew it was time the box was
closed and she left home for a short while. After a couple of
weeks,,,,,I have her remains back. I can't believe the blow it
gave me. Especially, when I looked through her pictures.
I wrote "101 Times"
the day she died.
101 Times
I said goodbye 100 times.
I picked up your stiff body 100 times. I put you in a box 100
times to take you to the vet for cremation. I took that long
drive alone 100 times. I cried countless times trying to imagine
life without you. I'm still crying Baby Girl! I listened to 100
voices in my head telling me what I should do. Then, I listened
to you.
Today I said goodbye
101 times.
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You will always be missed
my Autumn Belle,,,,,,,,,,my Baby Girl.
You didn't leave a hole
in my heart my Baby Girl. You left love in my heart. The pain
will not always be there, but the love will.
Thank you for sharing
your life with me. We didn't have a long time together, but,,,you
got in my heart and that's where I'll always find you.
Your Mom
Christmas 2023
I love you so much my Autumn Belle, my Baby Girl
Mom
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